#1. Having an affair with his “potential”
Wanting your man to be the best version of himself is admirable, but approaching his looks and personality with “Extreme Makeover” ambition will do little more than erode his self-esteem and leave you both frustrated and resentful. “If you and your partner believe that love means acceptance, pushing him to change and criticizing him is going to send him the opposite message. What he hears is ‘you aren’t good enough,’” says Nina Atwood, M.Ed., L.P.C., author of ”Temptations of the Single Girl: The Ten Dating Traps You Must Avoid.”
How to rebuild: This is where the old 80-20 rule can be used to the benefit of both of you. Spend at least 80 percent of your time together letting your partner know all the things you adore and appreciate about him, so that when you mention something you don’t like, it doesn’t feel like another item on a long list of failures.
More Glamour:
- Five Secrets All Guys Keep From You
- Seven Things a Guy’s Bedroom Says About Him
#2. Major mood swings
We’re living in some pretty anxiety-inducing times, and when life takes a stressful turn, it’s not uncommon for couples to start taking out that stress on each other. While the occasional mood swing can — and should — be forgiven, being in a relationship with someone whose bad moods outnumber her good ones can make a man run for cover. Wouldn’t you do the same?
How to rebuild: The next time you catch yourself taking a downturn, take a moment to consider what kind of impact your moods are having on your man and the relationship. “If a woman is too moody, we start to walk on eggshells because we just don’t want to deal with the drama,” says Matt, 31, of San Diego.